Annie Proctor

The PERFECT Chocolate Chip Cookie

Step aside Nestle Tollhouse and Monica Geller, I’ve got a treat for you. I’m very specific about the way these cookies are made, but if you want to know my secrets, read on. Baking is a science and the order and manner in which you incorporate the ingredients are SO IMPORTANT. This recipe is the result of much experimentation and hours upon hours in the kitchen.

These chocolate chip cookies are my favorite things to bake. This recipe was one of the first ones I ever perfected myself and I’m still proud of it. They’re the perfect combination of all the contradictions that make good cookies: they’re crispy on the outside yet soft on the inside, fluffy and gooey and tasty when warm or cooled.

I always hate it when people post recipes that are preceded by 3 pages of the ~story~ of making the cookies. I find it much more useful to have thorough descriptions or an annotated recipe. So without further ado: here’s how to make the perfect chocolate chip cookies:

Ingredients:

1 Stick of SOFTENED unsalted butter

Don’t you dare microwave that butter. The key to these cookies is that you let it slowly soften to room temperature. Have your cookies ever been surrounded in puddles of grease? It’s probably because you melted your butter in the microwave.
If you don’t have time to let your butter soften or forgot to set it out in advance, I have tips below.

1/2 cup white sugar

1/4 cup LIGHT brown sugar

If you use dark brown, your cookies will be flat.

1 ROOM TEMPERATURE egg

I’m aware that I seem extra, but you’re the one reading about making perfect cookies.

1 pinch of salt

1 1/2 tsp vanilla*

*honestly I just pour vanilla into the mixture until I’m satisfied. It’s probably more like 2 1/2 tsp, but 1 1/2 tsp sounded more reasonable. Vanilla is GOOD.

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup+ chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS:

Chop the butter into small squares and set the egg and butter on the counter. Go watch a show or play a game. Write a blog post. Just let the butter soften until you can easily run your finger through it. It takes around 30-40 minutes. Yes, I’m saying this again. **If you’re impatient, chop the butter into small squares and gather it together. Grab a medium, microwaveable bowl, fill it partially with water and microwave until hot. Pour the water out and place the hot bowl over the butter, careful not to crush any pieces. This should help it soften faster.
While it’s softening, prepare your ingredients. Once the butter/ingredients are ready, preheat oven to 350.
Place butter squares in a medium-large bowl. Using a rubber spatula, press butter into sides of bowl and fold it into itself until its smooth and creamy. Fun fact, this is a technique called creaming. You’re basically making a butter paste.
Add sugars in together and fold them into the butter until they are completely incorporated.
Add room temperature egg and continue to fold in until incorporated.
Add salt+vanilla or any other flavoring you want (other than chocolate chips, raisins, etc) and fold in.
Fold in the flour ~1/2 cup at a time. It’s going to get harder to blend and it’s going to seem like all the flour won’t incorporate. Take it slow, it will all mix together.
Add chocolate chips and add more if you’re as much of a chocolate enthusiast as me. I recommend Nestle Semi-Sweet.
Grease pan and spoon dough onto pan in small amounts.
Bake for 10-12 minutes.
Take a picture and tag me @annie.proct
Enjoy!!!

What to do after your dreams come true

“Dreams really do come true!!!”

I posted this four years ago filled with joy. Most kids dream of being doctors or firemen, but I dreamed of being a Disney cast member. Four years ago, I found out that I was accepted into the Disney College Program, a semester-long opportunity to work in the place where dreams come true.

At the time I saw working for Disney as a one-and-done. I would work for Disney for a semester, go back to school and then get a ‘sensible’ job somewhere in the major that I had yet to choose.

I ended up loving my job at Walt Disney World so much that I didn’t want to leave. I stayed for an extra semester delaying the inevitable: the end of a dream.

I didn’t want to go back because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. I was left with a question: What do you do after your dreams come true?

The answer was simple: Find a new dream.

It was more difficult than I thought it would be. How would I ever find a dream that I loved as much as working for a company I had always admired? I wanted to find that drive toward a singular goal like I had before.

Here’s what I did:

Try out different classes or hobbies, see what fits. I changed my major a couple times until I found what worked for me.
Do what makes you happy. Seems cliché and redundant, but it’s not. Everyone holds back from some things that make them happy for various reasons.For me it was the fear of failure speaking of which…
Don’t be afraid to fail or do something that’s not perfect. When I came back to school I auditioned for the Carolina Ukulele Ensemble. I did it with an original song which terrified me, but I’m glad I used it because they selected me.
If there are too many choices, just go after one thing with all your heart. I’ve spent the past 3 years of my life dedicated to the Carolina For The Kids Foundation and UNC Dance Marathon. To be honest, I chose that organization almost at random. There were people in the pit, I texted someone I sort-of still knew what committee I should apply for, and then I became a part of the organization. You never know what the most random of choices will have in store for you. My dream became being on the Executive Board, which I’m on now (yay).
Don’t plan too far in the future. I am so guilty of this, but that doesn’t mean I can’t advice other people not to? Right? I have a tendency to place a goal or a dream years ahead of me and then work backwards from there. This can be good when done correctly, but not when you micromanage your own life and panic when one tiny thing doesn’t go to plan. Have some longterm goals, but keep them vague so you don’t cause yourself constant stress.

I still haven’t quite found it. I don’t have a single job or even a single career that I want to do. My dream is work for Disney again doing something that will make me happy.

My dream is to make magic for others, no matter where I am or who I am working for.

Here’s to new dreams.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see ya real soon,

Annie

Growing Up with Life Lessons from Mom and Billy Joel

I need to be honest with you: I don’t know all the words to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye. I also don’t know all the words to London Bridge, Lipgloss, and a whole lot of other songs my friends know by heart… and expect me to. What can I say? They grew up listening to those songs, but I didn’t.

My mom controlled the music in our car and as a child, I spent a significant amount of time in cars. This meant that the majority of my musical education came from her. Lucky for me, this education consisted of mostly Billy Joel‘s jazz-infused rock ‘n’ roll. As each song played, my mom, Billy Joel superfan(TM) would tie it to a life lesson, often telling me the story behind the song.

Through Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, she taught me that popularity in school isn’t everything. I was bullied in grade school and middle school and she would often play this song for me and every time felt down about not having friends. When he sang of Brenda and Eddie, she would emphasize that while everyone praised them for their convertible car and title as king and queen of the prom, their happiness was short lived.

I learned that it was probably a good thing that I wasn’t living the ‘best days of my life’ while I was still so young and that the popularity that people used to make my life difficult would be short-lived.

Through Piano Man, she taught me that even when you have failed or found yourself in a rough spot, you can admire the world around you for all the sadness and joy that’s in it. She often pointed out the line in which a bar goer asks Joel, ‘man, what are you doing here?’ and she would explain how Joel had signed a bad contract and was forced him to wait it out by playing in a piano bar. “But,” she would say to 7-year-old me, “if he hadn’t spent that time in a piano bar wondering why he was there, he never would have met those people, never would have learned their stories, and we would have never had this song.”

She was trying to teach me that failures are not all bad; that although they can be tough, beautiful things come from them. I’m still learning this lesson and often struggle to remember it. But I often find myself pretending I’m Billy Joel, imagining the stories of the people I see all around me.

Through Vienna, she taught me the importance of slowing down. I struggled with anxiety as a child and would play this song for me when I felt like I wasn’t enough. The lyrics seemed to fit my life perfectly.

To give you some insight on younger-Annie: I was planning for college when I was in the fourth-grade and panicked that I would never find a job. I was so ahead of myself that I didn’t let myself live in the moment. Like the song, I could always ‘see when I was wrong,’ but I couldn’t see when I was right.

I was passionate, prideful and always searching for satisfaction in the realization of dreams, but I had so many that they could never all come true. Vienna was the song she told me to remind me that it would be okay. I still turn to it when I need to breathe.

Through these songs and so many more, she taught me that music could be a way to express emotion and convey messages. Joel’s style of rock incorporates jazz and rhythm & blues still influence the music I listen to today. The most important musical lesson I learned from Billy Joel, however, was that a song could speak for me when words failed.

In a very real way, I think that Joel’s style of writing about his own experiences and writing to or for someone influenced my decision to write songs. I wanted to be able to create something that could be used to explain my experiences and be used by others to explain theirs. Similar to Joel’s Lullabye, the second song I ever wrote was written for my mother. It expressed the overwhelming love and support that I have for her and made references to the phrases that we say to each other during hard times.

Thank you, mom and thank you, Billy Joel. Your music helped me put words to emotions when I didn’t know how. It reminded me that there was a future past the bullying, the panic and the sadness.

Looking forward to seeing you in Winston-Salem, NC on October 13, 2018.

You’re not as trapped as you might think.

“I just need to get out of this town.” It’s a cliché movie line typically said by a protagonist about to embark on a grand adventure, but it’s also something I’ve been saying to myself a lot lately.

There’s quite a bit of change in my life and it’s unsettling. I’ve been sick and busy. Worst of all- I’ve been letting my friends and family down while I try to grab ahold of my health, job applications, and my job with Carolina For The Kids.

My therapist tells me “you’re overcommitted,” I say “it’s fine, I’ve always been this way.” To which she responds, “haven’t you always been anxious too?”

It’s time for a change.

My boyfriend and I kept telling each other how much we needed to get out of our town. We were stuck in a routine of wake up, work, work more, work together, realize we haven’t eaten, eat something easy to make or get, work more, leave and sleep.

So one morning, at 2:30 a.m. we realized nothing was really holding us back from leaving town. At 3 a.m. we left and at 7 a.m., this was our view:

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We only stayed on the beach for 30 minutes, but taking a moment to live our lives and do something a little stupid really helped.

We weren’t trapped- we never really were. As humans, particularly those in Western culture, we have a tendency to get stuck in routine. I’m not saying to get some relief that you need to drive 6-hours round trip to the beach and stay up all night, but you can still break routine.

In the next few days, do something small and unexpected. It can be as ridiculous as a spontaneous trip or as small as taking a different way to work. Step back and see the magic in a little change and a little autonomy in this busy world.

On forgetting

I’m a forgetful person. My mom has kindly told me that it’s because I’m so smart. “You’re so worried about the bigger things that you lose track of all the tinier things.” … Tiny things like my keys or wallet. Tiny things like the occasional homework.

To some extent, she’s right. I lose track of things because my mind is preoccupied- dancing an endless dance between worries and excitement. My schoolwork has both benefited and suffered as a result of this preoccupation. On one hand, I’ve forgotten smaller homework’s and the occasional reading, but I’ve also had great success with larger projects.

I used to laugh off my mom’s comments. I would dismiss them as her trying to make me feel better. To some extent- that’s true, but there’s truth to what she has said.

Everyone is focused on different things. I have reminders and post it notes to help me remember most things, but I’m going to try not going to beat myself up for every little thing.

Like these blog posts, I’m meant to post 6 before tonight. I thought I had posted 5, but just realized I’ve posted 4. Ordinarily, I would panic, but I’ve decided to just complete the blogs and do what I can.

Magic from an Emergency Room Bed

Oh hi there. I need to find some magic. Please send some if you can.

Sometimes life hits you hard, square in the face. This time, it hit me in the back. Yesterday, a tiny tiny stone sent me on a journey of intense pain and heavy medication. My day in the ER is a blur and I honestly don’t remember much, but like I promised, magic can be found even in tough times, so here goes.

*disclaimer, this was written while still on pain meds. Any unintelligibleness is to be blamed on the devil stones sitting in my kidney.*

Here’s where I found magic in an ER bed:

Magic from love: While that may be the cheesiest string of words I’ve ever written, it’s true. No matter how much pain I was in, I never felt unloved or uncared for. My dad drove an hour to come sit with me in the hospital for six more hours. He ran his fingers through my hair like he did when I was little, it reminded me that everything was going to be alright. I was with my boyfriend when the pain first hit. He got me to the ER, held my hair back when necessary, and held my hand for the majority of my time there.

Magic from laughter: Never underestimate the power of a nurse who can make a patient laugh in tough situations. One of my nurses, Josh, was excellent. Not only was he able to start an IV in my dehydrated body, he also kept me distracted from the pain–something no one else had been able to do at that point. I tried to find him online, but to no avail. I can’t remember what his face looks like. If you know a Josh RN that works at UNC Hospitals then hit me up and I’ll tag him

Magic from ice chips: Ice chips are the best thing in the world when you’re nauseous. Fight me.

Magic from nurses in general: You all rock and I appreciate you. You don’t get enough credit for your job. I may have made it a little difficult yesterday, but I want you to know that I appreciated everything you did to help me feel better. Especially those ice chips.

Well that’s all from me today because my pain is spiking back up.

There’s always something to be thankful for and there’s always magic to be found.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you real soon.

-Annie

I don’t believe in magic.

I don’t believe in magic. Well, actually I do. Just not the magic powers or abracadabra fluff that most people associate with the word.

To me, true magic isn’t a spell or a trance, it’s a real and raw emotion that is often never named. You can find it in the moment you take your first deep breath after crying or in the first few seconds of a genuine laugh.

Playing with Evie It’s the moment you make your 2-year-old brother smile even though multiple surgeries have landed him in two, full-arm casts. It’s that moment a Disney cast member calls you ‘princess’ and you finally feel normal after months of needles and doctors offices. It’s that moment so joyful that you feel like you’re floating–like you’re flying.

I’ve found that the best way to find that magic is to create it for others. I struggled with my health when I was younger, but I found that even on the darkest days, I could find a glimmer of happiness in the smiles of strangers.

Finding and creating magic became a game for me. I started trying to make everyone I interacted with smile at least once. I did simple, silly things like roll paper towels out for the next person in the bathroom or make funny faces at kids in other cars. What started as a game, became a way of life.

22770860_1974282602599599_8453493807034516178_o I’m not perfect at creating magic. I, too, occasionally get frustrated at the slow-moving grocery store clerk or the driver in tailing me on the highway. It’s moments like those that my mom would want to remind me, “It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” I’ve always found the light again by trying to find the magic in the world. There’s magic to be found everywhere if you look hard enough.

Have you ever talked to the person next to you on the bus about their goals and aspirations? Complimented a stranger on their hair or coffee tumbler? Well if you haven’t, I challenge you to do that today. You’d be surprised the magic you can find when you step back and just try to make someone else feel special or at least noticed.

Empathy is not a super-power. It’s not something that you have to be born with or be bitten by a radio-active spider to possess. Empathy can be found by stepping back and trying to see something through another’s eyes. Find an ounce of happiness sometime today. Take a deep breath of fresh air or try to do something to make one person smile.

To say you need only faith, trust, and pixie dust to fly is foolish. Don’t you see? You’ve forgotten the most important part. The magic comes from the happy thought.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see ya real soon.

-Annie

New Beginnings

I want to start by saying that I don’t do everything right. I’m not here to tell you should follow my advice every day, even I don’t do that. I’m not here to promise that this blog will always be one thing. It’s already changed three times as I’ve grown and evolved. and I hope you will follow along as I continue to find who I want to be and what this blog will be.

To give some background, when I was 18 years-old, I started my first video blog. Six months later, as I grew and lost sight of why I started, my ‘vlog’ tapered off. I couldn’t rationalize what my vlog was about with who I was becoming. At 20, I felt as though I knew what I wanted to be, so I built a new blog/vlog, called it The Mouse N Me, and locked myself into a path of Disney factoids and news. About eight months later, too proud and stubborn to admit that I might ever change, I found myself in a similar situation: unmotivated to make content that I was no longer passionate about and too stubborn to accept that my dreams and goals may have changed.

I have always felt lost in a world of possibilities. The past few years especially, my brain has ben flying through a tornado of thoughts. To anchor myself, my strategy was to latch onto one and try to hang on as the speed of my anxiety and the world whipped me around. I would always let go. And therein lies my greatest flaw: I plan by choosing an end goal I believe I want and ignore whether or not I truly want to do it. I focused too much on what I wanted to not who I wanted to be.

Now here I am, 22-years-old and re-launching my blog again. This time instead of trying to grasp onto thoughts or obscure goals, I’m going to make an intentional effort to step away, see life for what it is, and keep moving forward.

Whatever I create, it will come from my heart. You might notice that my blog title appears as “Annie Proctor: (title of blog post).” I want anyone who reads my blog to know that the following post came from me in my search for my own life and the magic in it.

Welcome to Annie Proctor: Finding The Magic. If you’re curious as to what kind of magic I’ll be finding, stay tuned for next week’s posts.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you real soon,

Annie

About Me 2.0

Annie Proctor is a senior studying Public Relations at the UNC School of Media and Journalism. She is passionate about providing an individualized strategy to forge and maintain relationships with target publics. She believes that magic is found in everyday interactions and that spreading kindness improves the world.

In 2014, she took a gap year to work in Walt Disney World. There, she used a point-and-shoot camera and video editing to connect with thousands of people on YouTube. This experience fueled a desire to learn how organizations might strengthen relationships with target publics. In 2015, she spearheaded a newsletter for Chapel Hill non-profit Teachers2Teachers- International. In 2016, she did content analysis and social media marketing for Free Persephone, a Day Spa in Paris. She increased social media following by 20 percent and

This year, she is strengthening her leadership skills as well as community and employee relation skills as Morale and Recruitment Chair for Carolina For The Kids. She serves on the executive board on the student-run non-profit which generates around half a million dollars in profit and leads a committee of 40 people. She is responsible for the recruitment and retention of volunteers who raise $200 and stand for 24-hours at the UNC Dance Marathon. During recruitment for the 20th UNC Dance Marathon, she coordinated over 400 people and planned major events.

An Apology from a Disney College Program Applicant.

While I had been waiting to do the Disney College Program since I was in the third grade, the real waiting and panic didn’t start until I hung up from my phone interview.

On Feb. 7, 2014, I hung up the phone after a 50-minute interview. Before I interviewed, I told myself that I wouldn’t analyze my every word post-interview, quoting Walt Disney’s wise words to myself, “Why worry? You’ve done your best and that’s all you can do.” I was forgetting two essential facts about myself: I over analyze everything and I have wanted to work for Disney for as long as my working memory allows myself to remember. The following apologies are all based on real things I did while waiting to hear back from Disney.

So, without further ado…

An Apology from a Disney College Program Applicant.

To my roommate: Thanks for allowing me to take over our room for an entire week preparing for my interview. Yes, you did say that at first, you enjoyed the notes and quotes that I taped to the wall, but I’m sorry that our room soon after devolved into something resembling a Disney fan’s rendition of “A Beautiful Mind.”

I’m also sorry that you will now be subjected to my insanely rigged game of “Who Can Guess the Disney Song First?” We both know who will win and we both know that the real purpose of this game is to serve my competitive spirit, love for Disney, and my need to keep my mind off my application. Thank you for your support during this time.

To my friends: I’m sorry that I will suddenly become weirdly obsessed with other people that I have never actually met in-person. In my defense, we plan to be THE PERFECT roommates because we all love all the same Disney films. Clearly, this is the only essential factor in determining a good roommate relationship.

To my teachers: In case you weren’t aware, I will barely do any homework from the time I applied to the time that I hear back from Disney. Instead, I ~~will bury myself in my research~~ watch all of the Disney College Program vlogs in existence. I have a bad feeling that this will not be helpful to me on any of my midterms.

I’m also sorry if I check my email in class. If my acceptance comes in, I will scream and you will not think it’s as important as I do.

To my parents: You’re about to get many calls over-analyzing every word I said during my interview. Good luck dealing with my ramblings.

…

I finally heard back on March 1, 2014, but the obsession barely slowed down. I began to further prepare for the big move on May 27, 2014, and so the obsession continued. Good luck to everyone who has had their phone interview! Be sure to comment with your own stories and share with those in your life that you might have bothered with DCP nonsense.